ATTENTION: You are viewing my old blog archives, kept here for search engine purposes.
To view the new blog, please go to the homepage. To view the new archives, go here.
To find something on my new blog, search here.
Damn those clunky PowerPoint presentations!
Cool stuff from DefenseTech.org.
Capacity has far outstripped available bandwidth, which ends up in results like this:
According to The Wall Street Journal, bandwidth constraints kept the military from flying more than two of the Predator unmanned spy planes at a time in Afghanistan -- out of a fleet of a half-dozen.
The Pentagon has a grand total of four satellites for secure, unjammable communications, said Air Force Maj. Dave Mattson. Two of these send and receive data about as fast as a T1 line. The other two work at the anemic rate of 2,400 bits per second -- one-twentieth the speed of today's 56-Kbps modems.
The International Socialist Organization has health advice
RESEARCHERS AT the University of Sussex in Britain argue that taking part in protests can be good for your health.[...]
[Dr. John] Drury said that people tended to gain a fell of well-being as a result of their collective interaction with others.
Apparently, "protests can help people overcome stress, pain, anxiety and depression." This is because " the positive experience of feeling part of a group which can have a good effect on your health."
As much as I'd love to join in on this warmly multilateral health-love, I found something worth emphasizing:
The results emerged from in-depth interviews with nearly 40 activists from a variety of backgrounds. Between them, they had more than 160 experiences of collective action involving groups of demonstrators protesting against a range of issues. These included fox-hunting, environmental damage and industrial matters.Volunteers were asked to describe what it was about taking part in such collective action that made them feel so good.
Especially when Drury mentions things like:
"Collective actions, such as protests, strikes, occupations and demonstrations, are less common in the UK than they were perhaps 20 years ago," says Dr Drury. "The take-home message from this research therefore might be that people should get more involved in campaigns, struggles and social movements, not only in the wider interest of social change, but also for their own personal good."
We gather together all the tobacco tycoons, Big Oil corporate sloths, shallow advertising agencies, corporate news moguls, slave labor textile titans, forest-slaughtering paper companies, everyone in the Wal-Mart hierarchy who makes more than $35,000 a year, the complete boards of directors of a few companies (Enron, Arthur Anderson, and WorldCom for starters), and the NRA and put them all in a large conference hall. There, they can "campaign" in a new "struggle" for a better "social movement" in order to advance the "wider interest of social change" so they can have the uplifting "fell of well-being" other collective action groups enjoy. At the very least, they'll experience the "feelings of encouragement and confidence" that come from "collective action."
They can then march on the headquarters of Greenpeace, the UN, the SEC, The Independent, the IRS, the webmasters of each Indymedia website, and do their protesting thang. I bet with all that high-powered financing, the signs would look really neat! However, I don't expect to see much presence from Hollywood. 'tis a shame.
I'm sure such unity of purpose, such multi-faceted collective effort would promote so much understanding and outward affection as to implode the universe with irony of a density higher than that of depleted uranium.

There are times I wonder if the nutty side of me is actually the result the Canadian in me. This is way up on the most-mailed articles on the Canadian version of Yahoo.
What happens when a company runs out of ideas to promote it's products, especially a type of product who is beginning to saturate the market?
Can you imagine what this model was thinking as the photographer(s) lined up to immortalize her chest and the rather humbled device nestled there? This is, not by accident, one of the Most E-mailed Photos on Yahoo...along with this attractive shot of "Joe Millionaire" contestant Sarah Kozer, popular due to The Smoking Gun's discovery of her sordid past as a pornstar.
I can do funny, Ken! As long as it's gotta do with boobs...
As written by Spanish Prime Minister Jose María Aznar, Portugese Prime Minister Jose-Manuel Durão Barroso, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, United Kingdom Prime Minister Tony Blair, Czech President Vaclav Havel, Hungarian Prime Minister Peter Medgyessy, Polish Prime Minister Leszek Miller, and Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen:
The real bond between the U.S. and Europe is the values we share: democracy, individual freedom, human rights and the rule of law.[...]
The Iraqi regime and its weapons of mass destruction represent a clear threat to world security. This danger has been explicitly recognized by the U.N. All of us are bound by Security Council Resolution 1441, which was adopted unanimously. We Europeans have since reiterated our backing for Resolution 1441, our wish to pursue the U.N. route, and our support for the Security Council at the Prague NATO Summit and the Copenhagen European Council.
In doing so, we sent a clear, firm and unequivocal message that we would rid the world of the danger posed by Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction.
[...]
The combination of weapons of mass destruction and terrorism is a threat of incalculable consequences. It is one at which all of us should feel concerned. Resolution 1441 is Saddam Hussein's last chance to disarm using peaceful means.
[...]
Europe has no quarrel with the Iraqi people. Indeed, they are the first victims of Iraq's current brutal regime. Our goal is to safeguard world peace and security by ensuring that this regime gives up its weapons of mass destruction. Our governments have a common responsibility to face this threat. Failure to do so would be nothing less than negligent to our own citizens and to the wider world.
[...]
The U.N. Charter charges the Security Council with the task of preserving international peace and security. To do so, the Security Council must maintain its credibility by ensuring full compliance with its resolutions. We cannot allow a dictator to systematically violate those resolutions. If they are not complied with, the Security Council will lose its credibility and world peace will suffer as a result. We are confident that the Security Council will face up to its responsibilities.
Didn't see Bush shake hands with or get anywhere near Lott. I bet that burns.
UPDATE 1:
Daschle looks pissed.
2:
So does Pelosi.
3:
I've lost count of the amount of money Bush has proposed for his social "initiatives." Christ, man.
4:
Hot damn, he's talking about African AIDS.
5:
Bush to UN: "Blow me."
6:
Finally, some recognition of Iran's struggles.
7:
Bush to North Korea: "Shape up or shut up."
8:
Iraq is screwed.
9:
Too much Gawd stuff.
The best thing about this show is that it delivers the bad news that so many people seem to avoid hearing. They either don't get it from their loved ones (who may temper their criticism out of respect) or choose to spin any comments too positively. It's the much-needed reality check that our risk-adverse, "you hurt my feelings!," never-admonish-me culture has lacked for so long. I'm sure much of the TV audience enjoys the good singers and performers. I know I do, even if I think the performances are too heavily weighted towards rhythm & blues and pop music.
But I'm damn sure they enjoy Simon's remarks more.
Almost as much as they enjoy the pissy, disassociated-with-reality remarks the rejected wanna-be vocalists spit out after they experience harsh criticism.
They're accused of using false information to get security badges
Twenty-eight employees at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport have been accused of using false information to obtain access badges for secure areas at ABIA.Federal authorities arrested 15 of the defendants Tuesday as part of Operation Tarmac, designed to promote heightened security at U.S. airports. They made initial appearances Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Austin.
Arrest warrants have been issued for the remaining suspects, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office.
The case stems from an investigation that began in October.
...28 employees were discovered to have repeatedly lied to obtain security clearances. All had active security badges when they were charged. On Jan. 21, a federal grand jury handed up the sealed indictments.[...]
The defendants are charged with obtaining access badges by providing false information on security clearance forms. The badges permit access to all restricted and secure areas at ABIA, including the control tower and the interior and cargo holds of airplanes.
Some of the defendants also are charged with using false Social Security numbers, fake visas and other false U.S. documents.
Those arrested Tuesday, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office, are Francisco Bayona, 41; Servando Bueno, 21; Juan Armando Gonzalez, 37; Omar Gonzales, 25; Cristina Guerrero, 23; Jose Juarez, 28; Emmanuel Marin, 21; Luis C. Martinez, 23; Salatiel G. Martinez, 23; Luis Vaca Mendez, 24; Margarita Neave, 31; Espegal Rodriguez, 25; Hoguer Rodriguez, 22; Maria Emma Rodriguez, 27; and Eloy Vaca, 23.
Evelyn Hardaman took a day off Monday from her special education class at Thorton Elementary in San Antonio, but the 20-year teacher was still at work bright and early.She, along with thousands of other educators from across Texas, roamed the state Capitol to push for issues important to them. Among them: protecting education funding, maintaining teacher health insurance, keeping class sizes small, and fighting off school vouchers.
"We have a strong impact if we come in and say, "We're in the field; we know what's going on.' We hope our voices have a little more credibility," Hardaman said after a meeting at the office of Rep. Jose Menendez, D-San Antonio.
Hardaman was among those from the 100,000-member Association of Texas Professional Educators who missed work and made the road trip to Austin to get some face time with lawmakers.
The teachers attended a weekend meeting where they learned how to effectively meet with lawmakers and what education issues are being discussed.
However, they need to be teaching their students and not lobbying the government during class time.
They're government employees, who took time off from work (I'm not sure if it was vacation time or not) to get political. Unfortunately, their self-interest is short-sightedly advanced by asking the government for more funding; for new schools, new class materials, pay raises, guaranteed health care, and all that. I doubt they want to end the immoral "Robin Hood" wealth redistribution system that many districts hate. The State of Texas has got money problems, and education eats up gads of cash already.
Those teachers, in my opinion, would be better served by educating their students against idiocy than this. Of course, I feel that the government has no more a role in educating children than it does telling me when I can buy alcohol or how fast I can go on the highway, which is to say none.
The supreme irony of all this is that I work for the Texas Association of School Boards, and organization that is firmly pro-public schooling. We have an advocacy team which is at odds with my philosophy in fundamental ways...
...but I haven't taken any time off of work to hob-nob with legislators in order to get tax breaks for TASB. *grin*
UPDATE 2/8/2005 1:02pm
It has happened again and brought about the same concerns of mine.
Austin-American Statesman: State's teachers descend on Capitol
More than 400 teachers from across Texas converged on the state Capitol on Monday to press lawmakers to pump more money into public schools in Texas.And to raise their pay.
And some were doing it on the taxpayer's dime. Sort of.Several lawmakers raised eyebrows about having so many teachers around on a school day.
"Who's paying for all the substitutes?" asked Senate Education Committee Chairwoman Florence Shapiro, echoing the sentiments of other lawmakers.
Some of the teachers said they had taken the day off, either on paid leave or without pay. But others said they were there on a "staff development" day, which they are entitled to take to receive in-service training or improve their schools.
[...]
State rules require students to receive 180 days of instruction each semester, with teachers allowed to take off up to six days per year for staff development. The exact number varies from district to district. On those days, educators most often attend training programs, seminars or conferences.
Some districts allow staff development to include the Capitol visits because the lobbying days are sometimes connected with a professional conference in Austin, such as one that the 105,000-member Association of Texas Professional Educators held over the weekend.
[...]
"I'm appalled anyone would suggest I'm here for myself," said one teacher, who, like several others, refused to give her name after a reporter questioned who was tending to their classrooms. "I'm here for better public education. I'm here for the students. Better schools make Texas better for everyone."
Copyright 2001-2005 Cox Texas Newspapers, L.P. All rights reserved.
Iraq in "material breach" of resolutions
I do seriously appreciate the effort the Australian government has taken to stick by the US's side throughout this affair. While not always unanimous, they (like Britain) have lent the true support of an ally. Their armed forces are on the way as well, demonstrating not only a political commitment, but a concrete one as well. I wish them the best of luck.
Ack! I'm drowning over here!
Too...many....CD jewel...cases....*pant pant*...must find...something better...*cough*...than this...damn wannabe desk drawer...thingie.
At last count, I had 382 folders in my MP3 directory, each folder corresponding to a single CD whose audio I converted. Of those 382 discs, I'd say 350 are legitimately purchased and mine. It's a huge jump from my last count, where I believe I found myself with 225 discs. To make matters worse (or better...I have no problem with a massive selection of music), that larger number doesn't even truely represent my full collection, for I have at least three stacks of jewel cases two feet high which I still haven't converted yet.
My ultimate goal is to convert everything I have to MP3, safely store the CDs away, and burn MP3 CDs whenever I need them. No more surface scratch worries, no more hesitation to listen to my older music, and a vastly larger number of songs I can carry around with me, sans unnecessary CD bulk.
I've maxed out this wheeled desk drawer thing I've got, but it only holds 140 cases. The overflow contributes to the overall cluttery-ness of my apartment. Now, I don't mind looking like a music geek, but the moment I step on and crack jewel cases and trip over skyscrapers of CDs, I get annoyed. Especially when you lose the cover insert for the fifth time! ><;;
Googling for mass compact disk storage doesn't work well, but I did find a Canadian company called CAN-AM and they make some furniture that seems right up my alley.
At any given time, I can walk into a music store and see fifty albums I absolutely must have. That translates into roughly $600 if I price the CDs at twelve bucks a pop. The basic unit I want holds 270 discs in each of it's two shelves at a price of US$289 plus shipping and handling. The thing weighs 70 pounds, so I'm sure S&H won't be cheap.
To further inflame the situation, I'm also running out of DVD space on the rack I have next to my TV. At any given time, I can walk into a consumer electronics store and see fifty DVDs I absolutely must have, half of them anime DVDs. Obviously, I can't keep living this media storage lie I've been decieving myself with for so long.
I must take action.
Perhaps I'll put this on my formal Christmas Gift List for '03? Will I be able to navigate my bedroom and livingroom by then? Even reach my computer?
I'm not surprised by the findings. The test is here in case of interest.
Mayor Gus Garcia is pushing to ban smokers from lighting up in all public places -- including bars.Some say when out at a music venue or bar, there's no butts about it-- drinking and smoking go hand in hand.
"These are beer joints, these are music venues and people smoke. In bars... they've been smoking in bars in Texas forever," smoker Poodie Locke said.
Mayor Gus Garcia wants to change that habit. His executive assistant, Adam Smith, is leading the charge.
"Right now, we're proposing to bring forward one ordinance and that would be a smoke free ordinance, which would ban smoking in all public places," Smith said.
The reason is second-hand smoke. The mayor's office cites statistics claiming 26,000 Texans die from tobacco related diseases each year.
"After looking at the recent data on the effects of second hand smoke the mayor almost feels obligated to bring forward smoke free," Smith said.
The mayor apparently doesn't feel obligated to uphold individual responsibilty and personal freedom. People in Round Rock, just north of Austin, are already rebelling against a smoking ban enacted last year. Is the mayor so stupid that he thinks a city that dwarfs Round Rock in size and dependence on live music and artsy entertainment won't stir up trouble here as well? Does he care so little for our freedom?
What the fuck is it with Texas? Dallas just restricted it. Del Rio is thinking about it. El Paso passed new laws. Is Texas trying to become New York or California? Is it all the negative publicity on our poor usage of state fund to prevent smoking? The state has started a new campaign to convince people to quit, and I bet it's done half out of political expediency and half out of a desire to reduce the state's costs on healthcare expenses related to smoking.
And, ignored and dismissed, are the smokers.
The arguement goes that the government has the right to ban smoking because second-hand smoke hurt other people. Also argued is the fact that non-smokers have fewer places to hang out since non-smoking private clubs and bars are rare.
The first arguement skips over the obvious: those who don't like inhaling cigarette smoke can simply choose to go elsewhere. Second-hand smoke indeed does cause damage, so anyone who is concerned about it SHOULD LEAVE THE FUCKING PREMISES. Either that or ask the owner to create a non-smoking section or have the place go completely non-smoking.
Which brings us to the second arguement...if there was a serious consensus that non-smokers need a place to go to avoid second-hand smoke, then more non-smoking establishments would pop up to cater to them. That bars and clubs generally don't is NO FUCKING REASON to legislate them to. A better choice would be to reduce the costs to start businesses so that more people could afford to offer a service that non-smokers want.
I quit smoking back in October of 2000 after smoking for over five years. The explicit reason I quit was I had a hernia operation and any coughing hurt like the devil. I decided to quit temporarily for a few weeks to limit the tendency. After the wound began to heal, I noticed that I didn't really have smoking urges like I had feared. I decided to quit completely. I was tired of paying so much to smoke (fucking taxes you governmental prats!!!) and I was tired of the shortness of breath and chest pains I'd occasionally wake up with. Health and economic reasons.
However, nearly all of my friends smoke. I tolerate it because I know they can't always come over to my house, where I've requested that the only thing smoked is weed. I understand the trade-off between convienience and reasonable necessity.
These anti-smoking buffons and their political mouth pieces don't care at all about that choice. They ultimately want to see smoking restricted to your home and vehicle...and I'm sure that in their final utopia, they'd demand smoking banned in those places too because some smoke will always leak out into outside air. They see this as a "public health issue," a keyword for other restrictions on personal liberty.
I sincerely hope this ordinance doesn't get passed. And I sincerely hope one of these bans/ordinances/restrictions in some city are challenged all the way to the Supreme Court and Constitutionally rejected.
UPDATE(6/2/2003 5:20pm)
Developments! And they aren't good. This damn thing has gotten farther than I thought it would.
UPDATE(6/6/2003 7:25am)
The ban has passed 4-3. Fuckers.
UPDATE(6/7/2003 8:28pm)
How the city plans to enforce this:
The ban will be enforced on a complaint basis, handled by Health and Human Services.
Any person caught violating the ban can be fined up to $2,000 and an establishment could have its operating license revoked.
UPDATE(10/15/2003 2:02am)
Good news: the Austin Smoking Task Force Report is in and it's definitely worth your read.
UPDATE(4/21/2004 4:14pm)
The ban, initially scheduled to take affect on May 1st, has been posponed:
The city of Austin's new smoking ordinance will likely be postponed a month until June 1. The main reason is to give restaurants more time to show they've improved their air quality.
Dan McClusky's owner Steve Batlin lucked out. His restaurant has always had a separate room for non-smokers and smokers."I really don't think it's necessary. I'm a non-smoker myself. I think it's coming," Batlin said.
The new smoking ordinance is coming, but now it may be one month later. Before they get a smoking permit, restaurants must show they have dual ventilation systems. Lots of business owners installed them to meet the previous ordinance, but the city didn't keep a list.
Copyright ©2004TWEAN News Channel of Austin, L.P. d.b.a. News 8 Austin
UPDATE(6/1/2004 11:03am)
Austin Smoking Ban in Effect Today
UPDATED 5/9/2005 9:20am
The Additional Tyranny - The New Austin Smoking Ban Passes
UPDATED 8/30/2005 2:03pm
Deadline for the Austin Smoking Ordinance
Eject Eject Eject's Bill Whittle knocks one out of the park
A high water mark in terms of eloquent an discussion, rant, and analysis, simply called "CELEBRITY."
Via RightWingNews, this just needs to be posted again.
First thing's first, remember, it's not the content so much as the attitude. Don't have that fruity "Hail to the Chief" song playing when you enter, instead have the "Imperial March." Come in all stern-faced, and, to further show everyone you're a badass, head butt the first person who tries to shake your hand. Think of what evil dictators will say when they see that. "Holy crap! He broke that guy's nose for just trying to shake his hand. Think of what he'll do to me, an evil dictator!"Start off with a great applause line, such as raising your fist in the air and shouting, "Our enemies must suffer!"

"We should have a tax cut of epic proportions," you should say, "And most should go to the best Americans - the rich. Some may say this is unfair." You should then pause dramatically. "They will die!"

Democrats may not applaud everything that is said. Whenever they don't seem to agree with a new proposed policy, point at them and scream, "Traitors!" This will make them uncomfortable with not applauding. One may voice protest at being labeled a traitor; if that happens, shout, "Rarrrr!" and charge at him while the VP and Speaker of the House try and hold you back. The Democrats should be pretty scared by then, and will probably clap politely at whatever you say.

Now say, "Some of our 'allies' will not support our plans of war, but I have one thing to say to them..." For this part, raise both fists in the air and scream as loud as possible, "DEATH!!!!" (you may need a voice coach to hit this just right)This should be a huge applause line, even though it's not the most coherent thing ever said. If the Democrats don't give you a standing ovation, pull out a gun and shoot at their feet.

Of course, he may eschew this and go straight for the throat by telling the world Iraq's time is up.
Japan, the second-largest financial contributor to the United Nations, plans to cut its support by one-quarter in coming years, senior officials say.Japanese diplomats calculate that Japan's gross domestic product accounts for 14.4per cent of the global economy. But Tokyo pays 19.5per cent of the UN budget, or almost $US1billion ($1.7billion) a year. The United States accounts for 30per cent of world gross domestic product, but pays only 22per cent.
[...]
At the UN, Japanese officials say they are angry that the world body has failed them on two counts: the UN has yet to remove a clause from its founding charter that describes Japan as a "former enemy" nearly 60 years after the end of World War II; and Japan, with the world's second-largest economy, has yet to win a permanent seat on the UN's Security Council.
Japan's $US1billion slice of the UN budget is more than the combined payments of four out of five of the permanent members of the Security Council: Britain, China, France and Russia. Only the US pays more.
The data regarding the other four UNSC members is so rawly aggravating for words. France and Germany are some of the loudest squealers for multilaterialism, UN-ism, and legal process...but they pussy out when it comes to paying up. It always seems to fall to the US to pick up the slack and it's just hilarious that Japan outspends the other four. If there was ever a case to demonstrate the skewed and biased system the UN operates on, it is this.
Of course, the UN thinks Japan's anger is dumb.
One UN official in Tokyo said that cutting support would not help Japan's quest for a Security Council seat, arguing: "It is not smart politics. They are not creating an image that Japan is a team player."
I guess the UN values homogenous thought and action (as well as massive foreign aid) over independence and self-reliance.
News via Voice from the Commonwealth
It seems fewer people support abortions unconditionally than in the past
Most people still seem to support abortion, but that support loses it's majority status once it is said that the woman is doing it out of non-medical reasons, that she has an "unwanted" pregnancy and wants to abort out of convienience. Very few people support partial-birth abortions while very many support abortion to save the life or health of the mother and in cases of rape or incest.
I believe the mother has a fundamental right to choose whether or not to give birth to a child. I do not believe that right should be infringed.
The case has been twiddling it's thumbs for over 3 years
District Judge Charles Allen McCall was named on Tuesday for the hearing, which will determine whether Nichols will be tried for 160 counts of first-degree murder for the Oklahoma City bombing.Nichols was convicted of federal charges of involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to life in prison for the deaths of eight federal agents in the bombing. He faces the death penalty if found guilty on state charges.
McCall replaces District Judge Ray Dean Linder, who presided over the preliminary hearing for 27 months before he stepped down in November, citing his frustration with the slow pace of the case.
As much as I dislike Rev. Sharpton and the policies he advocates, I hope his office and the others around it weren't too badly damaged. The article mentions the injuries were limited to smoke inhalation.
Why can't the US Postal Service stop dicking around with these odd postal rates and simply use 5¢ increments? I'd much rather they slightly overcharge me and make it more convienient than edge up the rates by pennies at a time every few months. It's just fucking annoying.
Especially to those of us who rarely use outgoing mail. Nearly every one of my bills can either be paid online or at a counter in a HEB. The only bill that can't be paid this way is a loan from Wells Fargo and I pay over and above what they ask for monthly so I have several months of time between actually mailing something out. Of course, I do believe they offer an automated service which withdraws the necessary amount out of an account of mine, but I dislike those services...I'd much rather pay bills according to what I know my balances to be and not on a rigid schedule.
Which means about three times a year I am forced to remind myself the stamps I bought a few months ago are no longer "First Class."
So, yeah. Screw this lame-o postage pricing system. Up with nickle increases which are evenly divisible by five! Down with weird-ass 37¢ stamps!
Light posting due to sickness. Be back sometime later.
Feast your eyes on the latest travesty
Via National Review's The Corner.
Sorry, folks, but I hold true to a few things in life, and one of them is: Boobs Belong on Women. The very next subheading reads: Boobs That Protrude to The Point of Conal Shirt Stretching Belong Exclusively to Women. A corollary states: Under No Circumstances Should Men Attempt to Emulate Female Boobs.
Blegh. Fashion used to be what is cool. Now it's about getting attention by crossing lines most people haven't even had the time to drawn in their minds yet. One what the fuck?! after another. Designers would be better off aiming for more constructive responses, such as the one my friend Cameron and I made nearly in unison when we saw the Cadillac Sixteen: "Oh-Holy-Shit-I-want-one-of-those!"
(...continued from the last time...)
Renewing The Promise Of Education:
These are the principles on which I base my vision for education in America, and I believe nothing less is good enough.1. In America, there should be a good teacher in every classroom in every school.
2. In America, every school should pay enough attention to every child to know if he or she needs extra help or has a special talent.
3. In America, every student should expect to graduate high school and get enough education to compete and win in today's economy.
4. In America, every qualified student who works hard and wants to go to college should be able to go to college, and they should have a fair shot at getting into the school they want to attend.
We should say to the smartest young people in America: if you make a five-year commitment to teach in a place or a subject where top-flight teachers are in short supply, then we will pay for your college education.
...we should give a $5,000 mortgage tax credit to teachers in poor areas who are willing to buy homes in the communities where they teach so they can be more available to parents and students.
I propose a new, flexible teacher quality grant for states with one simple premise at its core: we said you had to have a qualified teacher in every classroom by 2006; now we're going to put our money where our mouth is. Today, the federal government spends $3 billion a year on teacher quality. If we're serious about good teachers, I believe we should at least double that. The money we spend on good teachers will be the best money we've ever spent.
In asking for this money, he proposes some conditions on the states:
First, you've got to pay teachers better, and pay more to teachers who agree to teach in places and subjects where we need them most.Second, you have to make sure the resources target the teacher shortage where it is worst, in poor rural and urban districts that can't attract the talent they deserve. The truth is, there are many school districts that can afford to pay teachers good salaries already. We need to focus our efforts where good teachers are paid the least and needed the most.
Third, you should hold teachers accountable for results by streamlining the tenure process and passing the pioneering tenure reform law that North Carolina and nine other states have passed that allows teachers to be removed for poor performance. Good teachers deserve to be honored, valued, and rewarded for it. But let's face it: there are some teachers who just don't measure up, and it hurts our children and good teachers everywhere if the system just looks the other way. Teachers who don't measure up don't belong in the classroom. The best education for our children must come first.
The president continues to tout private school vouchers. I oppose them because they divert resources and energy from reform and divert students into the only schools that don't have to meet high standards. Proponents advocate two things competition and parental choice but misleadingly suggest these are only possible with private school vouchers.Competition is good for schools, and parental choice is good for kids. But we can give kids competition and choice within our accountable, public system.
Today, many public school choice programs are having trouble because there aren't enough schools or parents involved. We shouldn't give up on these programs; we should make them work by making a billion-dollar investment in public school choice. We'll say to districts that need it most: If you'll provide universal public school choice for your students, we'll help you pay for it.
Public schools are a near-monopoly and -- it's at least been my experience -- you don't have a school choice when you go to public schools unless you move to that school's tax district.
I am offering a simple proposal that I call College for Everyone. We are going to provide states with the resources to offer a new deal to students: If you are willing to take responsibility for your education, the first year of tuition at every community college and public university in your state is free.[...]
Each year, taxpayers spend billions subsidizing banks to make student loans. We also guarantee the loans against default so banks cannot lose. If we scrapped the whole system and made the loans through competitive contracts, like one-third of loans are now, we could save about $2 billion each year.
More than 200 colleges today give students a leg up in the admissions process in exchange for a very early commitment to attend. Applying early is worth the equivalent of 100 extra points on the SAT, yet as a practical matter it is available only to the most motivated students who come from the most educated and fortunate families. Students can't apply early if they don't know about the program or can't afford to lock themselves into a particular school because they need to compare financial aid packages. Early decision worked great for my daughter, because my family could afford to use it. But for thousands of families who can't, early decision is fundamentally unfair.
He also takes aim at "legacy admissions" which give preference to students who have allumni in their families. He calls for universities to end this, otherwise "other action may well be necessary." No heavy hand of statism here!
People who mow the lawn or change the sheets for a living deserve as much respect and as much opportunity as the most powerful people in the country. All our children deserve the same chance to make the most of their gifts, to rise as high and as far as their talents and work will take them.
Some of his proposals do make an improvement on our system. Too many of them are summed up as spending increases and additonal conditions and regulations.
UPDATE(11/11/2003 9:53pm)
More here. I consider him a hypocrite.
Carole Keeton Strayhorn sees $2.8 billion in state money savings
Future post to discuss what she has found
I was convinced this is legit after reading some of the investigation people have put into this. I look forward to using my $5-$20 check on new music!
If, of course, the settlement goes through.
After making that post on wanting to get new rims for my Golf TDI, I realized just how shitty my luck has been with my car over the last 40 days.
December 3rd - Some bastard(s) break into my car and steal my stereo. The passenger window is wasted and there is some light damage done to the doorframe. USAA rushes to my aid, fixing the window the same day (woulda cost like $130), we settle on a replacement stereo, and find a place to get the body damage fixed.
December 9th - The Golf is checked into a nearby shop to get the doorframe repaired. USAA pays for an Enterprise rental, which turns out to be a huge Dodge 1500 quad-cab truck. Opposite ends of the spectrum, going from the Golf to that. At least it was white.
December 11th - Check received in the mail from USAA to help pay for the installation of the new stereo.
December 12th - Repairs on the TDI are complete.
December 14th - While driving fellow AB'ers Elhaym and Erik around Austin, my right two tires give out on me. The front right tire had a slow leak for some time and I filled it up before we took off. Unfortunately, though I checked and filled the right rear tire before we left, it failed completely on the way and had to be switched out with the spare in the trunk. Then, while driving Erik home to San Antonio, I get busted for speeding 77MPH in a 55MPH zone. The cop doesn't ticket me for that, however, and instead tickets me for failing to update my driver's license info. Court date set at...December 31st. *rolls eyes*
December 17th -The replacement stereo arrives several days ahead of schedule from USAA. Further kudos to them.
December 21st - While attending a party at a friend's place in Killeen, his neighbor backs into the right rear quarter panel of my car, leaving some ugly-looking tire marks and some paint scratches. The driver left a thoughtful and comprehensive note detailing how to contact him and how sorry he was for the accident. I call him Sunday, the next day, and we talk it over and agree to have a longer talk when I return from holidays in Canada.
December 22nd through December 28th -Car parked safely and soundly at my parent's place in New Braunfels.
December 30th -GEICO calls and sets up an appointment at a body shop to get an estimate of the damages. I call Francis Sumner and thank him for his prompt and honorable behavior.
December 31st -I drive to San Antonio and take care of the ticket, paying the court $75 instead of the $120 standard fee. I guess my fake happy smile convinced them I was pleased to be there. On the way home, debris on the road leaves a crack in the right side of my windshield.
FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUUUUUUUCK!!!
January 3rd -Stereo installed...but in the wrong position. There are two slots in the dashboard, one for a glovebox/cubbyhole thingie and one for the stereo. Stock, the car has the equipped stereo in the lower slot and the cubby in the upper. When I had the first aftermarket stereo installed, it was also installed in the lower slot. This time, Alpha Audio put it in the upper slot, which wouldn't have bothered me, but the cup holder bumped into the faceplate when opened. Right on the track skip and volume knob. I called AA back to schedule an appointment to switch it around.
January 6th -The VW goes back in the other shop to get the rear quarter panel fixed. GEICO pays for...an Enterprise rental, this time a Dodge Neon. Screw that car; boy was it a weak automobile.
January 9th -The car is fixed and I pick it up from the shop. That little expense would have been $775 had GEICO not paid for it. At least they shined the tires and gave the car's exterior a nice cleaning.
January 10th -Alpha Audio switches the stereo around and into it's rightful place.
So. After all that, the only things left to do are fix the crack in the windshield and re-tint the passenger window. And install a serious car security system that detects glass breakage and car shocks. And be beyond strict about taking the faceplate off my car.
A side note: The police have not contacted me at all about the theft. I called them the day it happened and recieved a case number along with a promise someone would contact me. This is the second time a car accessory theft has been ignored or put to the side by the Austin Police Department. I think I can safely assume they will be next to useless for helping me with so-called "petty crimes" in the future. Yet another reason why I've decided to arm myself.
As much as I like the simplicity of the stock 15" steelies the Golf comes with...

...I'd like to upgrade. I don't want to upgrade to the 15" AVUS alloys...

...because I want a larger wheel diameter. However, I've never been interested in "bling bling"-grade rims that demand the attention of potential car thieves and their lesser (though no less vile) siblings, car accessory thieves. So, I want to stick with OEM wheels, offered by Volkswagen. The choices, narrowed down after hours of painstakingly Googling and IrfanView-ing my ass off:


Bravo 17"


Long Beach 17"


Montreal 17"


Rave 16"


Reggae 16"


Siata 17"


Tocatta 17"
I like the Bravos, Long Beaches, Montreals, and Tocattas the most. They go for about $200, $195, $155, and $195 respectfully...and that's a non-dealer rate. Therefore, I can expect the rims alone to cost somewhere between $620 and $800 for a set of four. Not including shipping and handling or a father- and common sense-mandated fifth for a spare.
Then there are the tires. Part of the reason why I want to upgrade is to slap on lower-profile tires to lessen the amount of sidewall and increase my traction, so I can't just keep those old Continental Tourings, can I? However, the tire I end up with depends on the rim I choose, and I haven't gotten that far yet. Perusing Tirerack has helped out a lot and I'll probably call Erik who moderates the Wheel and Tire Forum at VWVortex.com if I need further assistance.
His House of Representatives website
Now, I didn't vote in last year's elections, so I'm assuming this is either a result of me finally registering to vote in my district or it's because he sends out mail to all the constituents he represents after an election. I'll post it in it's entirety, along with the survey he included.
Dear Charles,I am writing to alert you to some important issues being considered in Congress and to make you aware of the services available in both my Austin and Washington offices. A major part of my job as your Congressman is serving as an advocate for any citizen of Travis County, regardless of party or philosophy, who has a legitimate complaint with a federal agency, or who simply needs help to cut through red tape. Specialists in my Austin office are experienced in dealing with a wide range of federal issues, including Social Security, veterans' concerns, and passport and visa applications for travelers. Please feel free to contact my Austin office for help in resolving problems with federal agencies.
My Washington office deals with the legislative work of the U.S. House of Representatives. My priorities include protecting the environment, seeking to ensure fair treatment by managed care organziations, strengthening Social Security, establishing a more equitable tax code, securing access to more affordable prescription medications, improving the quality of public education, and conserving taxpayer dollars.
You can reach me through either office and by email at
Lloyd.Doggett@mail.house.gov, or you can stop by and visit during my neighborhood office hours held regularly throughout Travis County. You can also contact me through my web site at http://www.house.gov/doggett, which contains important information, resources and links to other useful sites. The best way to ensure your priorities are my priorities in Washington is by letting me hear from you. Enclosed is a legislative survey covering several of the important issues currently before Congress. You can complete the survey and return it by mail or access it electronically through my web site.I look forward to hearing from you -- whether to help you with a problem, provide information on legislative matters, or recieve your good counsel.
Sincerely,
Lloyd Doggett
The survey asks of me:
1. Which of the following is the most important area to you for action by Congress?
2. Should Congress place any restrictions on a woman's access to abortion?
3. The goal for Social Security legislation should be to:
4. Which of the following is the most important education priority to you for action by Congress?
There's then space for additional comments.
My answers are underlined, but I feel I have to make a few comments about them. For the first question, the choice of answers makes it easy to choose reducing federal taxes, but the most important area of action Congress needs to take is a generalized withdrawl from intrusion into the lives of citizens (and business!). Since that intrusion can only be done when money pays for it, the easiest answer to the question is to take that money away, even though being anti-tax isn't the real reason.
For the fourth question, a similar problem occurs but with a different twist. I realize that my desire to see the federal government stop paying for the education of others with money taken from me is not very likely, especially when asked of Doggett, who makes it plain he supports public schools completely. So, in the interests of pushing an agenda that at least gets pointed in the right direction, I choose vouchers, even though my money is still being taken away from me in order to pay for someone else's education. The measure creates competition among schools and breaks up the near-monopoly government schools have on primary education. I feel it's a better (and more achieveable in the short term) solution than continuing to spend more money on public education.
Just from skimming through the info I can find on him tells me much of what I'd like done would be lost on him. However, as an experiment, I plan to contact his office on a regular (monthly or so) basis with my opinions on current issues.
UPDATE 9/24/2004 5:30pm
I haven't been contacting him at all. And I certainly don't give a damn about voting any longer. The Austin American-Statesman, Voting, Free Speech, and Information.
I never watched the Dune miniseries, but I have seen the movie and read the book the movie was based off of. Very entertaining. I'm sure Frank Herbert's fans will pass their judgement on it all, but what caught my attention was this bit:
Children of Dune features many of the original cast and crew from the first miniseries, with Susan Sarandon joining the ensemble in her career debut as a villain, the network announced. The sequel continues the story of the Atreides family 12 years after Paul Muad'Dib (Alec Newman) freed Dune from the control of the evil House Harkonnen and brought water to the desert planet.
His new 2004 Presidential website
Since Instapundit mentioned someone who is avidly supporting Edwards for 2004, I glanced around and discovered his webpage. He has sections titled "Defending Our Homeland," "Energizing The Economy," "Renewing The Promise Of Education," and "Restoring Purpose To Foreign Policy." I'll deal with his beliefs on domestic defense first. Future postings will cover the other issues. My comments are italicized.
UPDATE(11/11/2003 9:51pm)
More here and here.
Of course, this will surely change Timothy P. Carney's mind about something.
While I don't condone the actual piracy that occurs over the Internet, wacking this guy who created the GUI for a way to decode the Content Scrambling System with a criminal lawsuit when he himself did nothing wrong (to the best of my knowledge) is wrong itself.
However, several of the comments in the Slashdot article mention that the saga isn't over yet. There are still a few more layers of the legal system the prosecution can appeal to before they hit Norway's version of the Supreme Court. It was also mentioned that new laws have since gone into effect that would make it nearly impossible to avoid a guilty sentence on these issues.
I don't agree that this demonstrates a reason or an excuse to restrict or pull back from using the death penalty. If a prisoner wishes to be put to death early, so be it. It removes one criminal from Life, saves everyone money, and carries out the wishes of the court.
The arguement that for some prisoners, this is what they want -- that this is essentially state-assisted suicide -- does seemingly bump up against the "punishment" justification for the death penalty. However, dying is still dying. It's the most harsh punishment that can be delivered: the ultimate negation of your principle right...your right to life. Whether the condemned believes it's a punishment or not is irrelevant.
Check out the spin in this article
Firstly, it's about the current North Korea problem. Here's the first thing you read, directly under the AP photo:
South Korea is trying to reduce tension in the region
The BBC puts this diplomatic middle-fingering next:
North Korea has said that economic sanctions by the United States would represent a declaration of war, as diplomatic efforts to resolve its nuclear weapons crisis intensify.It condemned the recent interception of a ship exporting Scud missiles to Yemen as an act of piracy and said the US would pay a "very high price for such reckless acts".
If North Korea does not readmit UN inspectors and halt its weapons programme, the IAEA would turn the matter over to the UN Security Council, which could impose sanctions or other measures.IAEA Director General Mohammed El Baradei said that, although no deadline had been set, North Korea had "clearly a matter of weeks" in which to act.
"There are two options for North Korea: Comply with your international obligations... or continue defiance that will escalate into a crisis situation and go to the Security Council," he said.
Maybe.
He's mirroring some of my thoughts
Those thoughts being the ones that are almost guaranteed to derail most conversations about the Palestinians and Israelis:
But increasingly I'm finding myself feeling as if the world would be better off if someone went in and shot every damned one of them and piled the lot in an unmarked grave. After reading about yet another Palestinian atrocity, I find myself thinking, "Fuck it. Nuke Ramallah. Then nuke Nablus. And if that doesn't help, bulldoze Gaza. And once that's done, put all fifty surviving Palestinians on a freighter, tow it out to sea, and let them become someone else's problem."I know that's wrong. I know it could never happen, and that it will never happen, and that it should never happen, and I would never actually advocate anything like that. But what I'm finding is that every time I read about a Palestinian being killed by the Israelis, my first emotional reaction is, "Good riddance." I've reached the point where I feel nothing at all when I read about them dying. I have reached the point where I don't care at all, not even slightly, about their pain and hardship. They have ceased to be persons to me. I'm no longer even interested in hearing their side of the story.
"Praise be to Allah. Today, we indescriminately killed more non-combatants. Change your policies, Israel! Otherwise, we'll kill more people. Praise be to Allah."
Thankfully, Israel is having none of it. Sadly, it's doubtful even a tripling of Israeli military activity will settle things on a useful level. It's either a full-scale expulsion of the Palestinians, deal with them as they have done over the last six years, or give in to institutionalized and widely-supported random violence and only see further demands by militants who won't listen to moderate (by their standards) Palestinian requests to persue peace.
UPDATE (1/8 12:59am):
Apparently James Lileks feels the same, further reinforcing my high opinion of him.
Jamie Lichtenwalter goes berserk
My parents live in New Braunfels, which is only a ten minute drive north of San Antonio. The first I heard about this was last Saturday, all over the papers.
In one of the most vicious attacks on police in recent years, a burly ex-convict turned a romantic dispute at a North Side diner into a shooting rampage that left four officers wounded with their own guns.
The gunman, Jamie Lichtenwalter, a 26-year-old parolee who had become jealous after seeing his girlfriend with another man, was killed outside the Denny's restaurant on Northeast Loop 410 by a rookie officer who had been shot four times."He ambushed all the officers, who weren't quite prepared for somebody quite that violent," Police Chief Albert Ortiz said at a morning news conference. "You never know when an explosion is going to occur. It changes not just from call to call, but from second to second."
The four policemen wounded by Lichtenwalter — Officers David Evans, Michael Muñiz and Nathan Murray and Detective John Bocko — are recovering at two area hospitals.
Evans and Bocko arrived separately at the restaurant about 3:30 a.m. after Lichtenwalter's girlfriend told a manager to call police.Evans, a 51-year-old patrolman with 25 years of experience, and Bocko, an evidence detective who happened to be nearby when the call came, believed they had quickly defused the argument. Lichtenwalter had voluntarily handed over his girlfriend's car keys.
But as the officers allowed him to leave the restaurant, his girlfriend whispered to one of the officers that Lichtenwalter, a former bouncer at several area strip clubs, might have a gun, police said.
At that point and without warning, Lichtenwalter whirled and punched Bocko in the jaw, breaking it in several places.
Witnesses told police Bocko fell to the floor "like a sack of potatoes," Ortiz said at the news conference.
Lichtenwalter, described by police as having arms as thick as tree trunks, then turned on Evans, knocked him to the ground and wrested the veteran officer's .40-caliber Glock. As Evans lay on the ground without his bullet-proof vest, Lichtenwalter stood and shot him three times — in the chest, stomach and arm, police spokesman Gabriel Trevino said.
The dozen or so diners in the restaurant ducked underneath tables.
By that time, Bocko was back on his feet, but he was dazed and stumbled through the restaurant. The gunman then started firing at him, and he was grazed by a bullet across his back.[...]
When Lichtenwalter ran out of bullets, he kicked and pistol-whipped Bocko with the empty Glock, Ortiz said.
Meanwhile, Evans staggered out of the restaurant. But Lichtenwalter was close behind — and now armed with Bocko's gun.
A desk clerk at the adjacent Econo Lodge said he was in the hotel lobby when Evans began banging on the front glass window.
[...]
Muñiz, 22 and fresh out of the training academy five months ago, and Murray, a North Side patrolman with eight years on the force, were next to arrive.
They spotted Evans in the parking lot and began helping him when Lichtenwalter opened fire.
A bullet pierced Murray's cheek. Muñiz was shot in the neck and three times in the leg. He managed to exchange gunfire with Lichtenwalter at close range. Lichtenwalter, who was shot at least six times, collapsed on top of Muñiz and died, authorities said.
When a group of backup officers arrived, Muñiz , too weakened to move, was still lying underneath the gunman.
[...]
From start to finish, the shootout lasted about five minutes, with Lichtenwalter firing more than two dozen rounds.
Amy Seager wants to limit automotive cell phone use
I don't really see the point in walking through the article piece-by-piece, so I'll go straight to the point: Life is a long game characterized by the ups and downs of risk-taking and decision-making. When you choose to drive somewhere, you decide the possible danger to your health other drivers (and you) represent is not large enough to warrant another way of arriving at your destination. Since everyone has different standards and morals, exactly how you determine what level of risk is acceptible is subjective and unique and changes with time and the situation. Having someone else decide what is acceptible is wrong because that person's standards are likely to be different from someone else's and therefore the law becomes a tool to change behavior against the will of the individual. It doesn't matter if someone can drive perfectly fine while talking (as I have done in the past); those concerns are casually thrown away in order to serve the Greater Good.
By using the force of law to prohibit or restrict cell phone useage, the government attempts to remove some of the risk in the equation. Actions like these are nannying actions, ventures taken to make life easier for citizens, to give them peace of mind. But, while those may sound like noble goals, my rights are being violated and another small step has been taken towards authoritarianism. My cell phone is my property, as is my car. I am the only owner of those things and it is my sole right to determine how they are used. As such, it is my responsibility to own up to the misuse of those things when I use them. If I think it is too dangerous to talk while driving, I won't. If I feel the call is important enough, I'll take it. Those choices are mine to make, not the legislature's when pressed by grieving mother who feels everyone should be punished because someone screwed up and killed her daughters.
It always pisses me off to read quotes from people who basically say, "Yeah, it is a restriction upon my freedom, but hey, the expected results are more than worthy and who really cares about being able to talk while driving? It's not that big a deal." This is just a lazy apathetic dismissal of the important questions raised whenever a law is proposed. It isn't an arguement for or against anything.
It's a shame the girls died. It would be a far greater shame if their death proves to be the catalyst for restricting Texans' liberty.
33 put to death in 2002, up from 17 in 2001
The average is 22 a year.
Viggo Mortensen, idiot
Viggo Mortensen, moron
Viggo Mortensen, stupid
Viggo Mortensen
Anything for Mr. Woodlief. *grin*
Originally found at The Spoons Experience, who found it at American RealPolitik (and who has a quick rebuttal session with a whining lefty), who found it at Photo Matt & Insignificant Thoughts. Whew. Anyway, to the meaty goodness of a pleasant example!
This is a VERY simple way to understand the tax laws.Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this.
The first four men-the poorest-would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1, the sixth would pay $3, the seventh $7, the eighth $12, the ninth $18, and the tenth man-the richest-would pay $59.
That's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement - until one day, the owner threw them a curve (in tax language- a tax cut).
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." So now dinner for the ten only cost $80.00.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six - the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"
The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and The sixth man would end up being PAID to eat their meal. So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59. Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man, but he, pointing to the tenth. "But he got $7!" "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man, "I only saved a dollar too, It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!"
"That's true!" shouted the seventh man, "Why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!." "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered, a little late what was very important. They were FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS short of paying the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.
Where would that leave the rest? Unfortunately, most taxing authorities anywhere cannot seem to grasp this rather straightforward logic!
Not that the complainers care about it. All they see are Those Who Need and Those Who Have "Excess." The former, therefore, deserve to have the wealth taken away from the latter...because...uhm...they're rich and they don't need the wealth.
Imagine how deafening the uproar would be if it was deemed that we had an "excess" of art in America and therefore some arbitrary portion of it should be taken from our homes (and those who refused to allow this were arrested and jailed/fined) and given to Uganda, Bolivia, and Senegal...because...uhm...they don't have it.
Not that at least being consistent ever really bothered some people.
Nicholas Monahan is fucking angry
And, if his story is true, has all the right in the world to be. While my experience was almost entirely benevolent, his was much worse:
At the security checkpoint I was led aside for the "inspection" that’s all the rage at airports these days. My shoes were removed. I was told to take off my sweater, then to fold over the waistband of my pants. My baseball hat, hastily jammed on my head at 5 AM, was removed and assiduously examined ("Anything could be in here, sir," I was told, after I asked what I could hide in a baseball hat. Yeah. Anything.) Soon I was standing on one foot, my arms stretched out, the other leg sticking out in front of me àla a DUI test. I began to get pissed off, as most normal people would. My anger increased when I realized that the newly knighted federal employees weren’t just examining me, but my 7½ months pregnant wife as well. I’d originally thought that I’d simply been randomly selected for the more excessive than normal search. You know, Number 50 or whatever. Apparently not though – it was both of us. These are your new threats, America: pregnant accountants and their sleepy husbands flying to weddings.After some more grumbling on my part they eventually finished with me and I went to retrieve our luggage from the x-ray machine. Upon returning I found my wife sitting in a chair, crying. Mary rarely cries, and certainly not in public. When I asked her what was the matter, she tried to quell her tears and sobbed, "I’m sorry...it’s...they touched my breasts...and..." That’s all I heard. I marched up to the woman who’d been examining her and shouted, "What did you do to her?" Later I found out that in addition to touching her swollen breasts – to protect the American citizenry – the employee had asked that she lift up her shirt. Not behind a screen, not off to the side – no, right there, directly in front of the hundred or so passengers standing in line. And for you women who’ve been pregnant and worn maternity pants, you know how ridiculous those things look. "I felt like a clown," my wife told me later. "On display for all these people, with the cotton panel on my pants and my stomach sticking out. When I sat down I just lost my composure and began to cry. That’s when you walked up."
Of course when I say she "told me later," it’s because she wasn’t able to tell me at the time, because as soon as I demanded to know what the federal employee had done to make her cry, I was swarmed by Portland police officers. Instantly. Three of them, cinching my arms, locking me in handcuffs, and telling me I was under arrest. Now my wife really began to cry. As they led me away and she ran alongside, I implored her to calm down, to think of the baby, promising her that everything would turn out all right. She faded into the distance and I was shoved into an elevator, a cop holding each arm. After making me face the corner, the head honcho told that I was under arrest and that I wouldn’t be flying that day – that I was in fact a "menace."
It seems Arthur needs some time to sort his life out. I'm hoping for the best, as he's an excellent writer and it would suck to see him gone for too long.